Widowed AF
Join Rosie as she takes you on a journey through the raw, the real, and the often unspoken sides of widowhood.
This podcast is more than just stories; it’s a glimpse into the lives of those who have faced the unthinkable, and found strength, hope, and new beginnings.
Each episode brings you honest, open conversations with those who’ve walked this path, sharing their experiences, struggles, and triumphs.
If you’re navigating this journey yourself or just seeking to understand, join us in uncovering the many faces of widowhood.
Widowed AF
S2 - EP22 - The Assisted Dying Bill: A Landmark Moment
In this special episode, Rosie Gill-Moss shares her reaction to the historic news that the UK Parliament has voted in favour of legalising assisted dying. Recorded just hours after hearing the announcement, Rosie reflects on the significance of this decision, drawing from personal stories shared on Widowed AF and the emotional conversations that shaped the podcast’s early episodes.
As the host of Widowed AF, Rosie has spoken with over 100 individuals about some of the darkest times of their lives, often compounded by the suffering they have witnessed. She questions, “Why are we denied dignity and autonomy at the end of our lives, when we value them above almost all else?”
While end-of-life care is often excellent, it does not alleviate all suffering. Rosie explores the deeply personal choice of assisted dying, the fear and dignity involved, and the relief this new law may provide to those facing terminal diagnoses. “None of us can predict how we might feel when facing a terminal diagnosis,” Rosie states. “I personally want this option to be available. I can’t say if I would use it, but I know I want the choice.”
Tune in for a deeply personal and thought-provoking commentary on this historic moment of compassion, choice, and dignity.
Key Topics:
•The emotional impact of the vote
•Reflections on stories shared in Widowed AF episodes “Dignity” and “Thought-Provoking AF”
•Why dignity and autonomy matter at the end of life
Related Episodes:
•Episode 11: Dignity - Anonymous Guest
•Episode 12: Thought-Provoking AF
Connect with Us:
- Follow us on Instagram @widowedAF
- Email: theshow at widowedAF.com
- Web: (https://www.widowedaf.com)
- Watch on (YouTube)
I have no clue what I'm about to say, so buckle in. Hello, I'm Rosie Gill-Moss. I'm the host of Widowed AF. And I was driving home today on the school run, and I had the radio on, and I heard some news that That has made me quite emotional and it's news I didn't think we'd hear. And that was the MPs voted today for the bill to legalize assisted dying in the UK. Now it's still a really, really contentious issue. Lots of people feel really, really strongly about this. And I believe that everybody is entitled to their view, but I also believe really strongly that everybody has the right to choose how they die. Within reason, you know, and this bill will allow anybody who has a terminal illness to end their life when they've got less than six months to live. Now, there are some that are going to say that this could have gone further and I actually am one of them. So there will be some who say that actually this bill doesn't go far enough. Um, because it doesn't take into account people who've got really, really insufferable conditions. Things like Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, body lewis dementia, um, These are conditions which cause agony for both the person and the people that love them. We were lucky enough, I don't know if that's the right word, but I've spoken to, um, to a widow whose husband made the decision to go to Switzerland and she feared legal retribution for this. So she, um, she came on anonymously. So we protected her anonymity, but actually the legislation or the bill today, that wouldn't have helped her husband. Because he wouldn't have been eligible for it because it's termed as a neurological condition. So, in Spain, um, they provide assisted dying to people both with terminal illnesses and also, they have a criteria which is intolerable suffering from disease or condition. And I think their highest, um, one of the most common reasons people seek their services is from Parkinson's. Thank you. So whilst I think that this is probably one of the biggest steps forward for us as, as humanity, because you can't do the job that I do. And you can't hear the stories that I hear and not question the end of life care in this country. Um, I don't doubt that the health professionals do their absolute best in most cases. And I don't doubt that for some people it's adequate. But there are so many that are left, they essentially starve to death. They lose their mental faculties. They are incontinent. They are unable to eat. They're in so much agony that they are screaming for their lives to end. And I'll be honest with you, the thought of that terrifies me. It terrifies me more than dying. And whilst, for many of my guests, their partners probably, or perhaps wouldn't have chosen, to, to take the option, because perhaps when you're young, you still cling onto this idea of hope, and that perhaps you, you might fight it, but I always hoped that the option would be available to me and when I get, um, hopefully when it's, when I'm old and I've lived a really full and healthy and happy life and if I get told I have a terminal illness, I can end it on my own terms in my own way. And I think there's something About the idea of living funerals, you know, imagine getting the opportunity to say to people everything that you wanted to say to them before they actually died. Um, the love that you could demonstrate and come together in that moment and knowing that you wouldn't have to watch them shrink. Disintegrate, deteriorate before your eyes all while there was nothing that you could do to help them. So whilst this, this bill does mean that for hopefully, I mean, it hasn't passed yet. There are many, many stages and lots of safeguarding assessments and I don't, I'm not going to pretend to know what they are. There's lots of stages to go through before this actually becomes law. I reckon it'll happen in our lifetime. Um, and I'd like to think it happened in my parents lifetime, which sounds really. Um, and I'm certainly not wishing my parents away, but I don't want them to suffer. And my mum, you know, the thought of sort of end of life care terrifies her. And if I can do something help her. Make that less terrifying for my parents. What a gift to be able to give them. You know, they bought us into the world. They loved us most of us and raised us and for them to be able to express their wishes enough for us to be able to carry them out for them or to help them go do it without fear of prosecution, because you can go to prison for helping somebody. And for so many, that's an enormous deterrent that's financial. Not everybody can afford to fly to Switzerland and go to a private clinic. So it takes away a lot of the financial inec in inequality around this as well. People are being forced to commit suicide in ways that are not painless, that cause distress or maybe don't work and leave them further incapacitated and their families are, are left, you know, absolutely traumatized. And whilst there are many of us for whom this is an absolutely diabolical idea, we wouldn't even contemplate it. We would be furious if our loved ones contemplated it, but you get to choose to do that still. But the people that do want it, they are starting to get a voice. They're starting to get a choice. I personally believe this is an enormous bit of progress. For, for our country, and I just hope that there is more done to include other people, people who have got these degenerative neurological conditions, which mean that their quality of life there, that some of them may even be violent in that. And it's not their fault. Imagine that. Imagine waking up and knowing that you had hurt somebody that you loved and you had no control over it. That actually was the reality for my guest. It's, um, season one, episode 11, if you want to listen to it. And they came to this heartbreaking decision because. He wasn't going to get better. It was never going to get better. And he was, he ceased to be the person that he loved. She loved long before he went to Switzerland. So I believe with the right safeguarding and the right scrutiny around it. I think this is a really positive and I just felt compelled to come and talk about it because it is something that I, I have to say, I thought we would not see happen for quite some time. I'm sure there's a cynical political reason behind it, you know, when isn't there, but if this does become law in the UK, I think we offer people a dignified, um, um, a humane end to their suffering, and it's up to them if they want to choose that or not. It's all about choice, really. Anyway, thank you for listening. I'll be back with you soon.